Knowing me, knowing you

It was a Monday morning, and I had no meetings booked for the whole day. Some Mondays that would be a beautiful blessing allowing me focused time on a project or space for creativity but on this occasion, I felt flat! More than anything, I needed to feel like I belonged. I needed connection.  Although I already had activity in the business, I was about to launch The Maven Club to the world and was experiencing the wave of emotions associated with that. I looked on the home page of the website and saw the line ‘Feeling overwhelmed or lonely in your job?’ and I wanted to shout. YES, I AM. At that point I was reminded why I wanted this club to come to life.  To give people a place to belong, a place where they feel safe, supported and encouraged, and to not feel alone as they pursue their ‘thing’.

Rejection and insecurity

I’m pretty good at self-reflection but still sometimes surprise myself when the obvious is staring at me, but I don’t recognise it, and don’t give myself the kindness I would extend to others.

Back to that Monday morning … Having just been away, I unknowingly craved connection and not being able to connect with anyone as I sat down at my desk felt overwhelming. Although I have adjusted to not being in an office with others most the time, a simple coffee and chat at the start of that day would have set me up perfectly for the tasks ahead. Sat alone at my desk I could hear the whispers of rejection getting louder and louder, desperate to take me down rabbit holes of doubt and insecurity. Although there was no logical reason for feeling rejected, I was in danger of seeing every tiny activity as a criticism and rejection of me, and it had the potential of paralysing me. 

Connection and encouragement

You see, I’m a people person and connecting with people gives me great energy and positivity. Although I sometimes need the space to focus and get work done, I’ve realised that when I return from being away, it’s really important for me to have people to connect with to help me get back into the swing of things. 

On this occasion, I quickly noticed this danger and decided I wouldn’t turn up to the rejection party, plus the rabbit holes needed blocking. I decided on two things to help me achieve this.

1. In the future, I would intentionally set up connection opportunities on days that I recognise I will need them (such as, after returning from being away).
2. Immediately, I would send some messages to people that came to mind. I would encourage them and enjoy the endorphins that are released when you focus on giving to others.

So, this is what I did, and it turned my day around. I sent a message of encouragement to the first person that came to mind and the reply was beautiful. The timing of that message was just what she needed to hear. Taking the focus off me and knowing someone else felt encouraged helped to reset my brain. I sent some more messages and then turned to my tasks list with a smile and a new energy.

Knowing how we function and what our needs are can help us to make choices that are helpful and healthy. What I need is likely to be different to your needs, but we all benefit from encouragement. Maybe next time you feel flat, take some time to reflect on what you need and why, and then commit to one or two actions that will benefit you. And why not send an encouraging message to someone else in the process!